How should Christians handle conflict in the church?

Matthew 18:15-17

¹⁵ “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

¹⁶ But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

¹⁷ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

New International Version (NIV)

The answer

Christians handle conflict in the church by following the process Jesus gave in Matthew 18:15-17: a graduated, private-to-public approach whose goal is to win the brother, not punish him.

Step 1: Go to him privately

Reproof starts one-on-one. Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone." This matches Leviticus 19:17: "thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him." Hatred in the heart is the opposite — talking about someone to others rather than to him. If he listens, you have "gained back your brother."

Step 2: Bring one or two others

If he will not hear you, Matthew 18:16 says, "take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established." The aim is still restoration, but now there are witnesses to confirm what was said. Galatians 6:1 shades this with the attitude required: "restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

Step 3: Tell the assembly

If he still refuses, Matthew 18:17 says, "tell it to the assembly." The local body — the ekklesia, the people of God gathered — now carries the case. The goal is still his recovery. James 5:19-20 promises that "if one convert him" from wandering from the truth, he has saved a soul from death.

Step 4: Treat him as outside, but not as an enemy

If he refuses even the assembly, "let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector" — that is, do not treat him as a covenant brother, but as one who needs the gospel. 2 Thessalonians 3:15 keeps this tender: "count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother." Church discipline is exclusion from membership, not abandonment of love.

The attitude that holds it all together

Two threads run through the whole process:

• Mercy, not vengeance. Colossians 3:13: "forgiving one another... even as Christ forgave you." Luke 17:3-4 underlines this — rebuke and forgive, the same day, every time he repents.
• Honest, not silent. Love that sees sin and says nothing is not love (Leviticus 19:17). But the same love refuses to broadcast the matter before going privately.

Verses to carry

Matthew 18:15 sets the whole pattern in one line: "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone." Private reproof, in meekness, with the goal of restoration — that is the Bible's way.

Answered from Scripture · reviewed November 7, 2026

Conflict within the body of Christ is neither ignored nor handled through gossip, but resolved through a deliberate, loving pattern established by the Lord Jesus Christ. Scripture lays out a clear progression designed not to punish or humiliate, but to restore fellowship and gain back the straying brother. Walking through these commands reveals that church discipline is an act of deep pastoral care grounded in truth and humility.

Private Reproof

Go directly and quietly to your brother

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

Matthew 18:15 (NIV)

It establishes the first non-negotiable step: confronting sin one-on-one with the singular aim of restoration rather than public exposure.

In Matthew 18:15, the Lord sets forth the foundational rule of redemptive correction: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone." The primary aim of this private confrontation is never vindication or public humiliation, but winning back a wandering brother and preserving the unity of Christ's body. God's ancient law in Leviticus 19:17 already commanded that his people reason frankly with a neighbor rather than harboring concealed malice and incurring guilt. Similarly, Proverbs 25:9 instructs us to argue our case directly with our neighbor rather than broadcasting confidential matters to outside ears.

Yet before taking a single step toward another, scripture calls the believer to profound self-scrutiny. Proverbs 19:11 reminds us that good sense makes a person slow to anger, counting it an honor to overlook an offense whenever possible. As 1 Peter 4:8 affirms, earnest love covers a multitude of sins rather than eagerly exposing them. When confrontation remains necessary, Matthew 5:23-24 demands that reconciliation precede worship, showing that an unresolved rift with a brother disrupts our fellowship before God. Finally, in Matthew 7:3-5, Christ dismantles self-righteousness, demanding that we remove the log from our own eye before we dare attempt to extract the speck from our brother's eye.

The passages

Passage	What it says
Matthew 18:15	Christ instructs the offended party to go privately to show the brother his fault in order to gain him back.
Leviticus 19:17	Commands open rebuke of a neighbor rather than harboring quiet hatred or incurring sin because of him.
Proverbs 25:9	Advises debating a case directly with one's neighbor without disclosing another person's secret.
Proverbs 19:11	A person's good sense makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
1 Peter 4:8	Above all, believers must keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Matthew 5:23-24	A believer offering a gift must first go and be reconciled to a brother who holds something against him.
Matthew 7:3-5	Jesus directs disciples to take the log out of their own eye before attempting to remove a speck from a brother's.

Trusted Witnesses

Involve witnesses to establish every word

But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

Matthew 18:16 (NIV)

It introduces sober accountability by using biblical standards of evidence to bring clarity and urge repentance.

When a private appeal is stubbornly rejected, Christ directs the believer to widen the circle of counsel: Matthew 18:16 commands, "take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." This protective protocol grounds the gathering in Deuteronomy 19:15, where Moses established that a single witness shall not suffice to establish a charge. The presence of objective brethren guards against misrepresentation, tests the validity of the grievance, and reinforces the solemn gravity of the appeal with clear biblical evidence.

Those who accompany an offended brother are not enlisted as partisans in a fight, but as ambassadors of peace. Galatians 6:1 commands those who are spiritual to restore someone caught in transgression with a spirit of gentleness, keeping watch over themselves lest they too be tempted. Proverbs 15:1 teaches that a soft answer turns away wrath, while harsh speech inflames hostility. The church fulfills this responsibility by speaking the truth in love according to Ephesians 4:15, enabling the body to grow into maturity. In the same way, 2 Timothy 2:24-25 insists that the Lord's servant must avoid quarreling, displaying patience and correcting opponents with gentle humility so that God may grant them repentance.

The passages

Passage	What it says
Matthew 18:16	Directs taking one or two witnesses if the brother refuses to hear, establishing every word.
Deuteronomy 19:15	Establishes the judicial principle that every charge must be confirmed by two or three witnesses.
Galatians 6:1	Urges spiritual believers to restore someone caught in transgression with a spirit of gentle humility.
Proverbs 15:1	A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger during confrontation.
Ephesians 4:15	Believers are instructed to speak the truth in love so that the body may grow into Christ.
2 Timothy 2:24-25	The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, correcting opponents with gentleness.

Corporate Appeal

Bring unrepentant sin before the church

If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Matthew 18:17 (NIV)

It defines the assembly's authority to plead for repentance before an unrepentant person is treated as outside the covenant.

If an erring believer spurns the witnesses, Matthew 18:17 delivers the final corporate appeal: "tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." The congregation unites its collective voice to plead for the straying soul, calling the person to turn back to Christ before removing them from the protective fellowship of the local assembly. As James 5:19-20 declares, the eternal weight of this effort is immense: whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save that soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

When persistent unrepentance demands public removal, the assembly acts under apostolic authority. In 1 Corinthians 5:4-5, Paul directs the gathered church to deliver such a person to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. In 1 Corinthians 6:1-6, Paul condemns dragging fellow believers before secular magistrates, insisting that the saints possess both the wisdom and the mandate to judge internal matters. To protect the flock from contamination, Romans 16:17 charges the church to watch out for and avoid those who cause division contrary to sound doctrine, while Titus 3:10-11 instructs that a divisive person be warned once, then a second time, before fellowship is formally severed.

The passages

Passage	What it says
Matthew 18:17	Commands telling the unresolved offense to the assembly, treating persistent refusal as an outsider.
James 5:19-20	Explains that turning a sinner back from wandering saves his soul from death and covers sins.
1 Corinthians 5:4-5	Directs the gathered church to deliver the unrepentant man over for the destruction of the flesh.
1 Corinthians 6:1-6	Paul forbids taking grievances against fellow believers to secular courts, directing the church to resolve internal disputes.
Romans 16:17	Believers are instructed to watch out for and avoid those who cause divisions and obstacles contrary to sound doctrine.
Titus 3:10-11	A person who stirs up division should be warned once, then twice, and then avoided if unrepentant.

Restorative Heart

Admonish as family while extending forgiveness

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

It anchors every correction in the lavish forgiveness believers have received from Christ Himself.

At every phase of biblical correction, the posture of the church must reflect the staggering grace of the gospel: Colossians 3:13 commands, "bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Discipline without a shepherd's tender heart easily degenerates into cold legalism. Jesus underscores this endless readiness in Luke 17:3-4, warning disciples to rebuke sin but to extend immediate, genuine forgiveness whenever a brother repents, even seven times in a single day.

Even when excommunication takes place, 2 Thessalonians 3:15 insists that believers must not treat the individual as an enemy, but rather warn him as a brother. When the chastening bears fruit, 2 Corinthians 2:7-8 commands the congregation to reverse their posture quickly: to forgive, comfort, and publicly reaffirm their love toward the repentant brother lest he be swallowed up by excessive sorrow. Believers are called in Ephesians 4:31-32 to banish all bitterness, wrath, and clamor, being kind and tenderhearted toward one another. Romans 12:18 urges us to live peaceably with all men as far as it depends on us, and Philippians 4:2-3 exemplifies this pastoral care as Paul urges Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord, enlisting trusted co-laborers to help them secure true reconciliation.

The passages

Passage	What it says
Colossians 3:13	Commands believers to bear with one another and forgive grievances just as Christ forgave them.
Luke 17:3-4	Warns disciples to rebuke a sinning brother and forgive him repeatedly whenever he repents.
2 Thessalonians 3:15	Cautions against treating the disciplined brother as an enemy, urging continued admonition as a brother.
2 Corinthians 2:7-8	Urges the church to forgive, comfort, and reaffirm love to a repentant brother after discipline.
Ephesians 4:31-32	Believers must put away bitterness, wrath, and clamor, forgiving one another just as God in Christ forgave them.
Romans 12:18	So far as it depends on the believer, live peaceably with all people.
Philippians 4:2-3	Paul entreats Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord and asks fellow workers to help them reconcile.

Handling conflict the biblical way protects both the purity of the church and the soul of the straying brother. When reproof is rooted in meekness and aimed at restoration, God is honored and fellowship is preserved.

26 passages, each cited once.

How the major Christian traditions read this

All Christian traditions agree that believers are called to resolve conflict with humility, pursuing reconciliation through personal repentance, mutual forgiveness, and the graduated steps of private reproof commanded by Christ in Matthew 18:15-17.

Catholic

We look to the pattern of Christ in Matthew 18:15-17 as a sacred duty, beginning with private charity and fraternal correction. When individual reproof fails, the matter must ultimately be brought to the Church's pastoral authority, exercised through the bishops and the sacrament of Penance. The power of the keys committed to Peter and the apostles (Matthew 16:19; Matthew 18:18) gives lawful authority to correct, judge, and where necessary impose medicinal canonical penalties such as excommunication. The purpose of all formal canonical discipline is the salvation of the sinner's soul and the defense of the communion of the faithful.

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, Matthew 16:19, Matthew 18:18

Orthodox

We see the resolution of conflict as the work of spiritual healing within the life of the Church as the therapeutic hospital for souls. Believers are commanded to approach each other with profound meekness (Galatians 6:1), pursuing reconciliation through personal confession and the spiritual fatherhood of the priest or bishop. In Matthew 18:17, telling the matter to the Church means submitting personal estrangements to episcopal oversight and canonical pastoral care. Exclusion from the Holy Mysteries (the Eucharist) is never merely punitive, but a medicinal boundary intended to move the errant soul toward genuine repentance (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15).

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, Galatians 6:1, 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, Matthew 18:17

Lutheran

We teach that handling conflict begins with the quiet admonition of neighborly love, concealing faults wherever possible and seeking to win our brother privately (Matthew 18:15). If sin remains unrepented, the keys of the kingdom (Matthew 18:18) belong to the whole Church, administered publicly through the Office of the Holy Ministry. The pastor is called to apply God's Law to convict the unrepentant, withholding absolution and the Lord's Supper, while joyfully delivering Christ's Gospel and forgiveness to all who sorrow over their sin (John 20:23; Luke 17:3-4). The sole goal is the sinner's repentance and restoration.

Scripture: Matthew 18:15, Matthew 18:18, John 20:23, Luke 17:3-4

Reformed & Presbyterian

We hold that church discipline is an indispensable mark of the true Church, grounded directly in the power of the keys (Matthew 16:19; Matthew 18:17-18). When private offenses cannot be healed by individual admonition, they are brought to the elders gathered in session or presbytery (1 Timothy 5:17). The church officers are called to exercise formal ecclesiastical discipline—ranging from private admonition and suspension from the Lord's Table to excommunication—to vindicate the honor of Christ, protect the purity of the church, and spiritually reclaim the wandering believer (1 Corinthians 5:4-5; Galatians 6:1).

Scripture: Matthew 18:17-18, 1 Timothy 5:17, 1 Corinthians 5:4-5, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 16:19

Anglican & Episcopal

We practice the biblical path of reconciliation through pastoral care, mutual charity, and ordered canonical authority. Matthew 18:15-17 directs individual believers to settle quarrels privately; yet when persistent sin or heresy troubles the parish, the rector and the bishop hold responsibility for oversight. As our historic rubrics provide, the parish priest may repel the notorious, unrepentant offender from the Holy Communion (1 Corinthians 11:27-29) until open repentance and amendment of life are made. Final formal discipline and judicial restoration are reserved to the bishop as chief pastor.

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, 1 Corinthians 11:27-29

Baptist

We believe that Matthew 18:15-17 establishes the rule for every local, autonomous church. When private exhortation and small-group witnesses fail to bring repentance, the matter must be told directly to the whole gathered congregation (Matthew 18:17). Under the priesthood of all believers, it is the local assembly as a whole—not an external hierarchy or isolated board of elders—that possesses the authority to remove an unrepentant member from church membership and communion (1 Corinthians 5:12-13). Discipline is always executed by congregational consensus with tears and prayer, aiming for redemptive restoration (Galatians 6:1).

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 18:17

Methodist & Wesleyan

We understand dispute resolution as a collaborative exercise of holy conferencing, Christian fellowship, and mutual watchfulness over one another in love. Following Matthew 18:15-17, members address wrongs privately and with gentleness, leaning on class meetings and small groups where accountability is nurtured. Pastors, alongside church committees, exercise pastoral care to reconcile estranged believers (Colossians 3:12-14). Exclusion from membership or the Lord's Table is a grievous last resort, pursued only when deliberate, unrepented sin resists persistent pastoral intervention and undermines the peace and holiness of the connectional body (Luke 17:3).

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, Colossians 3:12-14, Luke 17:3

Pentecostal & Charismatic

We approach conflict by seeking the leading of the Holy Spirit to bring conviction, healing, and restoration (Galatians 6:1). Following Matthew 18:15-17, interpersonal grievances must be resolved quickly without gossip or carnal division (James 4:1-2). Where offenses persist or disrupt the congregation, pastoral leadership and the elders step in to provide spiritual discernment and counsel. We believe that church discipline must never become legalistic; its ultimate focus is the deliverance of the person from demonic traps, personal pride, and spiritual ruin, restoring them to vibrant, Spirit-filled fellowship (2 Corinthians 2:6-8).

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, Galatians 6:1, James 4:1-2, 2 Corinthians 2:6-8

Non-denominational & Evangelical

We follow the straightforward instructions of Matthew 18:15-17 as the supreme manual for church relationships. We urge our members to keep conflicts private and handle them face-to-face in grace and truth. If a brother refuses to repent, our local pastoral team and elder board step in to mediate, investigate with witnesses, and lovingly confront the issue (Titus 3:10). If the individual stubbornly refuses biblical counsel, the leaders will formally inform the church body or withdraw fellowship, leaving the outcome to God's hand while praying for their total repentance and restoration (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15).

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17, Titus 3:10, 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15

Where they differ

Locus of final disciplinary authority

Catholic

The diocesan bishop and the canonical courts hold final formal disciplinary authority.

Orthodox

The ruling bishop and holy synod govern canonical discipline and excommunication.

Lutheran

Pastors exercise the keys publicly with congregational assent to exclude unrepentant sinners.

Reformed & Presbyterian

The church session of elders exercises discipline, subject to presbytery review.

Anglican & Episcopal

The parish rector repels from communion, while the bishop determines final discipline.

Baptist

The entire local congregation votes to exercise excommunication and restoration.

Methodist & Wesleyan

Pastors and connectional bodies work through mutual accountability and pastoral committees.

Pentecostal & Charismatic

Pastoral leadership and spiritual elders discern and enforce corrective action.

Non-denominational & Evangelical

The autonomous elder board adjudicates matters and informs the congregation if necessary.

Scripture: Matthew 18:17, 1 Corinthians 5:4-5, 1 Timothy 5:17

Nature of excluding an unrepentant person

Catholic

Canonical excommunication deprives the offender of sacraments for medicinal soul-care.

Orthodox

Exclusion from Holy Communion serves as medicinal therapy toward repentance.

Lutheran

Withholding absolution and the altar declares the unrepentant sinner's retained guilt.

Reformed & Presbyterian

Formal excommunication purges spiritual leaven and protects the Lord's honor.

Anglican & Episcopal

Repelling from Holy Communion preserves holy things and prompts penitence.

Baptist

Removal from church membership treats the unrepentant person as needing evangelization.

Methodist & Wesleyan

Suspension from membership is a last resort to awaken personal conscience.

Pentecostal & Charismatic

Withdrawing fellowship aims to break spiritual deception and prompt repentance.

Non-denominational & Evangelical

Revoking formal fellowship protects the flock while seeking the person's restoration.

Scripture: Matthew 18:17, 1 Corinthians 5:11-13, 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15

Your pastor can tell you where your church stands.

Scripture cited

• Matthew 18:15-17
• Leviticus 19:17
• Galatians 6:1
• Luke 17:3-4
• 2 Thessalonians 3:15
• Colossians 3:13
• James 5:19-20