What does the Bible say about dating?
2 Corinthians 6:14
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
New International Version (NIV)
The answer
Dating is optional, but it is never outside Christ’s authority: it must be governed by purity, honesty, love, and God’s design for marriage. Scripture does not require one particular courtship method, but it gives clear commands for every romantic relationship. Dating must not become a way to enjoy the privileges of marriage without its covenant.
Keep God’s design for marriage in view
Jesus teaches that God made humanity male and female, and that marriage is a man joined to his wife as one flesh (Matthew 19:4-6). Sexual intimacy belongs within that marriage covenant. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled,” and warns that God judges the sexually immoral and adulterers.
Therefore, sex before marriage and adultery are sin. Homosexual practice is also included in Scripture’s condemnation of sexual sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Calling a relationship loving or committed does not make sexual disobedience holy.
A date is not itself a marriage vow, but dating should be approached as a serious opportunity to discern marriage—not as permission to use another person for romance, status, or physical gratification.
Do not pursue marriage with an unbeliever
The command in 2 Corinthians 6:14 is, “Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” Although that command concerns binding partnerships more broadly, it plainly governs a relationship directed toward marriage. The direct marriage principle is also stated in 1 Corinthians 7:39: a believer is free to marry, but “only in the Lord.”
A Christian therefore should not pursue an unbeliever as a prospective spouse or presume that the person will eventually convert. This does not forbid ordinary kindness or friendship toward unbelievers; it forbids binding Christ and unbelief together in marriage.
Practice sexual purity before marriage
God’s will is stated plainly in 1 Thessalonians 4:3: “your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality.” The command in 1 Corinthians 6:18 is equally direct: “Flee sexual immorality!”
Purity also concerns the heart. Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:28 that looking at someone in order to lust is already adultery in the heart. Intercourse and other sexual activity outside marriage are therefore not made acceptable by being in a dating relationship, and deliberately feeding lust is sin even without a physical act.
Not every kiss or expression of affection is automatically sinful. It must be without lustful indulgence, pressure, or deception, and it must obey Romans 13:14: “make no provision for the flesh, for its lusts.” Wise boundaries help a couple flee temptation rather than see how close to sin they can go.
Treat the other person honestly and unselfishly
First Thessalonians 4:6 forbids taking advantage of or wronging another person in sexual matters. That rules out pressure, manipulation, deception, and using someone merely for emotional or physical satisfaction. Ephesians 4:25 commands truthful speech, while Romans 13:10 says, “Love doesn’t harm a neighbor.”
Be honest about intentions, honor the other person’s boundaries, and do not pretend that dating creates a right to that person’s body. A relationship that repeatedly draws someone into sin must not simply continue unchanged; 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
Sexual failure is not beyond Christ’s grace
After listing serious sins, including sexual sins, 1 Corinthians 6:11 declares: “Some of you were such, but you were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God.” The answer to sinful dating is repentance and faith in Christ—not despair, concealment, or continued disobedience. He forgives and cleanses sinners, and those He has redeemed are called to glorify God with their bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Answered from Scripture · reviewed November 11, 2026
While modern dating does not appear as a cultural practice in Scripture, God has given plain, uncompromising principles to guide romantic pursuit. Every relationship prior to marriage must be governed by spiritual unity, sexual purity, intentional companionship, and the sacred destination of holy matrimony.
Spiritual Partnership
Believers Must Only Marry In The Lord
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
This foundational prohibition against an unequal yoke commands believers never to join their lives in covenant partnership with unbelievers.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the apostle Paul lays down an absolute boundary for Christian intimacy: believers must never be unequally yoked with unbelievers. The rhetorical challenge that follows cuts to the core of romantic pursuit, asking what fellowship light can possibly have with darkness. When a Christian dates with an eye toward marriage, the single non-negotiable criterion is spiritual unity under the lordship of Christ. Paul affirms this principle for widows in 1 Corinthians 7:39, granting absolute freedom to marry anyone desired, with one crucial condition: the match must be only in the Lord.
This is not a new apostolic innovation; it is the enduring pattern of God's covenant wisdom throughout redemption history. In Deuteronomy 7:3-4, the Lord strictly forbade Israel from intermarrying with the pagan nations of Canaan, warning that foreign spouses would inevitably drag their hearts into idolatry. The prophet in Amos 3:3 asks plainly whether two people can walk together unless they have agreed upon the direction and destination. When Israel abandoned this command following the exile, Ezra wept over the breach of covenant faithfulness in Ezra 9:12, recognizing that entering domestic covenants with idolaters corrupts the spiritual lineage of God's people. Nehemiah confronted this exact rebellion with fierce urgency in Nehemiah 13:25-27, reminding the community that even Solomon, beloved of God and endowed with peerless wisdom, was drawn into ruinous sin through foreign women who did not fear the Lord. Finally, the prophet in Malachi 2:11 diagnoses this compromise as an abomination that profanes the sanctuary of God, because marrying the daughter of a foreign god strikes at the heart of covenant allegiance. To pursue romance outside of vibrant faith in Christ is to invite spiritual division into the deepest foundation of life.
| Passage | What it says |
|---|---|
| 2 Corinthians 6:14 | Forbids being unequally yoked with unbelievers, pointing out that light has no spiritual fellowship with darkness. |
| 1 Corinthians 7:39 | Declares that a believer is entirely free to marry whom they desire, provided it is only in the Lord. |
| Deuteronomy 7:3-4 | Prohibits intermarriage with foreign nations because unbelieving spouses inevitably turn hearts away from following God. |
| Amos 3:3 | Asks whether two people can possibly walk together unless they have agreed upon the direction. |
| Ezra 9:12 | Israel is forbidden from intermarrying with the surrounding idol-worshiping nations to prevent spiritual corruption. |
| Nehemiah 13:25-27 | Nehemiah confronts those who married foreign women, citing Solomon's catastrophic fall into sin through ungodly alliances. |
| Malachi 2:11 | Judah profaned God's sanctuary by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. |
Sexual Purity
Honor God In Your Bodies And Minds
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (NIV)
It defines God's direct will for romantic conduct: radical sanctification and the abstention from all sexual immorality.
God's explicit will for your romantic conduct is uncompromisingly set forth in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: believers are commanded to abstain entirely from sexual immorality and control their bodies in holiness. True Christian dating refuses to indulge in passionate lust like the pagans who do not know God. The apostle warns in 1 Thessalonians 4:6 that no one may transgress and defraud a brother or sister in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger against all such violations. Paul reinforces this absolute standard in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 by issuing the urgent command to flee sexual immorality, reminding believers that their physical bodies were purchased at an infinite price and are the living temples of the Holy Spirit. Sexual intimacy is a sacred covenant gift reserved strictly for matrimony, as Hebrews 13:4 declares that the marriage bed is undefiled, while God will actively judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
This high standard of purity governs not merely physical actions, but the private desires of the heart. In Matthew 5:28, the Lord Jesus teaches that anyone who looks at a person with lustful intent has already committed adultery within the heart. Therefore, Paul instructs Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:22 to flee youthful passions and run after righteousness alongside those calling on the Lord with a pure heart. In Ephesians 5:3, Scripture demands that sexual immorality and any form of impurity must not even be named once among the saints. The wisdom literature adds a tender warning in Song of Solomon 2:7 and Song of Solomon 8:4, adjuring believers not to awaken or stir up romantic passion until the proper time. Where strong desires burn, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 points to holy matrimony as God's righteous provision, preserving the soul from dishonor.
| Passage | What it says |
|---|---|
| 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 | Calls believers to abstain from sexual immorality and control their vessels in sanctification rather than lustful passions. |
| 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 | Commands believers to flee sexual immorality, honoring God with bodies bought by Christ and inhabited by the Spirit. |
| Hebrews 13:4 | Affirms that the marriage bed is undefiled, while warning that God will judge the sexually immoral. |
| 2 Timothy 2:22 | Instructs believers to flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness alongside those calling on God with pure hearts. |
| Ephesians 5:3 | Commands that sexual immorality and all impurity must not even be named once among saints. |
| Song of Solomon 2:7 | Charges believers not to stir up or awaken romantic and sexual love until the proper time. |
| Matthew 5:28 | Jesus warns that looking at someone with lustful intent commits adultery in the heart. |
| 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 | Paul counsels self-control, teaching that marriage is God's provision if passions burn beyond restraint. |
| 1 Thessalonians 4:6 | Believers are warned not to wrong or defraud a brother or sister in sexual matters. |
| Song of Solomon 8:4 | A repeated refrain admonishing young women not to awaken romantic passion before its proper time. |
Companionship
Surround Yourself With Those Who Sharpen Faith
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV)
This direct apostolic warning shows that close company invariably shapes, and can thoroughly ruin, godly moral character.
The apostle Paul delivers a solemn warning in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that every courting couple must take to heart: bad company ruins good morals. Romance never occurs in a moral vacuum; the person you grant intimate emotional access to will inevitably shape your spiritual trajectory and convictions. Solomon confirms this timeless truth in Proverbs 13:20, stating that whoever walks with the wise will become wise, while the companion of fools suffers sudden destruction. The righteous life begins, according to Psalms 1:1, by deliberately refusing to walk in the counsel of the ungodly or stand in the way that sinners take. In godly companionship, spiritual friction produces holiness, as Proverbs 27:17 observes that iron sharpens iron, causing one friend to sharpen the countenance of another.
Healthy dating requires vigorous spiritual vigilance and communal accountability. The psalmist models this separation in Psalms 26:4-5 by refusing to sit with hypocrites or keep company with evildoers. In Proverbs 4:23, the father commands the son to keep his heart with all vigilance, because from it flow the very springs of life. Surrendering one's emotional and physical boundaries without discernment brings spiritual ruin. Therefore, God provides the protection of church community, family, and mature believers. Proverbs 11:14 teaches that where there is no guidance a people falls, but security rests in an abundance of wise counselors. Proverbs 24:6 affirms that victory and wisdom are secured through trusted counsel. When believers date under the canopy of local church oversight and seek the counsel of mature saints, their romantic steps are guarded against deceit and spiritual compromise.
| Passage | What it says |
|---|---|
| 1 Corinthians 15:33 | Warns that corrupt company ruins good morals, urging believers not to be deceived about emotional influence. |
| Proverbs 13:20 | States that walking with wise people brings wisdom, while a companion of fools suffers harm. |
| Psalms 1:1 | Pronounces blessing upon the person who walks not in the counsel or company of the ungodly. |
| Proverbs 27:17 | Observes that just as iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens the countenance of another. |
| Psalms 26:4-5 | Recounts the psalmist's refusal to keep intimate company with deceitful or hypocritical individuals. |
| Proverbs 4:23 | The mandate to guard the heart with vigilance, since out of it flow the springs of life. |
| Proverbs 11:14 | Where there is no guidance a people falls, but safety lies in an abundance of wise counselors. |
| Proverbs 24:6 | Wise guidance and trusted counselors are vital for waging battles and achieving lasting peace. |
The Destination
Date Toward The Sacred Pattern Of Marriage
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)
It defines the sacrificial standard of biblical marriage, which every dating relationship should intentionally prepare for.
Christian dating is not casual entertainment; its deliberate goal is to prepare for the sacred covenant of holy matrimony outlined in Ephesians 5:25, where husbands are commanded to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. The entire dynamic of romantic pursuit must be shaped by this sacrificial, covenantal vision. In Ephesians 5:22-33, marriage is revealed as a profound mystery that displays the eternal gospel to a watching world. This holy union traces back to creation itself in Genesis 2:24, where God established that a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Dating serves as the intentional pathway where a man and woman evaluate whether they can fulfill these sacred roles together in lifelong faithfulness.
While evaluating prospective spouses, Scripture directs our eyes away from superficial charm and fleeting beauty, pointing instead to lasting godliness. Proverbs 31:30 warns that physical beauty quickly fades, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised above all. In Proverbs 18:22, Scripture pronounces that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Throughout the dating process, Paul gives a vital relational rule in 1 Timothy 5:1-2, commanding young men to treat younger women as sisters in all purity, honoring them as family in Christ until wedding vows are spoken. A godly courtship cultivates the selfless virtues of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, where true love suffers long, does not envy, and rejoices in truth. Colossians 3:12-14 calls believers to put on compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, and forgiveness, binding everything together in perfect harmony. Finally, 1 Peter 3:7 reminds men to honor women as fellow heirs of the grace of life, anchoring romantic love in eternal redemption.
| Passage | What it says |
|---|---|
| Ephesians 5:22-33 | Outlines marriage as a profound mystery displaying the covenant love between Christ and His church. |
| Genesis 2:24 | Establishes God's design that a man leave his parents, hold fast to his wife, and become one flesh. |
| Proverbs 31:30 | Warns that charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, commending instead a woman who fears the Lord. |
| 1 Peter 3:7 | Commands husbands to live considerately with their wives as joint heirs of the grace of life. |
| 1 Timothy 5:1-2 | Paul commands treating younger men as brothers and younger women as sisters in all purity. |
| Proverbs 18:22 | He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord. |
| Colossians 3:12-14 | Puts on the relational virtues of patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, and love that sustain godly romance. |
| 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 | The biblical definition of selfless love, which suffers long, does not envy, and rejoices in truth. |
Undivided Devotion
Devote The Single Heart Wholly To Christ
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:35 (NIV)
It shows that singleness and the pursuit of marriage must ultimately serve undivided devotion to the Lord.
In 1 Corinthians 7:35, the Apostle Paul lays bare the true aim of both singleness and the path toward marriage: everything must be weighed by whether it promotes good order and secures undivided devotion to the Lord. Singleness is not an empty waiting room, nor is it a deficient spiritual state. Rather, as Paul unpacks across 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, the unmarried season grants a unique freedom from the anxieties and divided domestic responsibilities of married life, offering an unhindered window to care for the things of Christ. When a believer considers dating or courting, that pursuit must never usurp Christ's supreme claim on their affections or derail their service to His church.
This deliberate alignment of the heart reflects the overarching command of Matthew 6:33 to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, trusting that every earthly provision—including a spouse—will be added in His sovereign timing. Worldly dating frequently promotes emotional consumerism, self-indulgence, and relational ambiguity. In stark contrast, Romans 12:1-2 commands Christians to present their bodies as living sacrifices and refuse conformity to the fleeting patterns of this present age. Through the daily renewal of the mind, believers learn to discern God's good, pleasing, and perfect will, pursuing romantic relationships not out of frantic loneliness, but from a posture of complete surrender and unshakeable contentment in Christ alone.
| Passage | What it says |
|---|---|
| 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 | Paul explains that the unmarried are free to devote undivided attention to the Lord's work. |
| Matthew 6:33 | The command to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness in every season of life. |
| Romans 12:1-2 | Believers must present their bodies as living sacrifices and not be conformed to worldly patterns of courtship. |
Where in the Bible
| Book | Passages |
|---|---|
| Genesis | 1 · Genesis 2:24 |
| Deuteronomy | 1 · Deuteronomy 7:3-4 |
| Ezra | 1 · Ezra 9:12 |
| Nehemiah | 1 · Nehemiah 13:25-27 |
| Psalms | 2 · Psalms 1:1, Psalms 26:4-5 |
| Proverbs | 7 · Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 11:14, Proverbs 24:6, Proverbs 31:30, Proverbs 18:22 |
| Song of Solomon | 2 · Song of Solomon 2:7, Song of Solomon 8:4 |
| Amos | 1 · Amos 3:3 |
| Malachi | 1 · Malachi 2:11 |
| Matthew | 2 · Matthew 5:28, Matthew 6:33 |
| Romans | 1 · Romans 12:1-2 |
| 1 Corinthians | 6 · 1 Corinthians 7:39, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 1 Corinthians 15:33, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 |
| 2 Corinthians | 1 · 2 Corinthians 6:14 |
| Ephesians | 2 · Ephesians 5:3, Ephesians 5:22-33 |
| Colossians | 1 · Colossians 3:12-14 |
| 1 Thessalonians | 2 · 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 1 Thessalonians 4:6 |
| 1 Timothy | 1 · 1 Timothy 5:1-2 |
| 2 Timothy | 1 · 2 Timothy 2:22 |
| Hebrews | 1 · Hebrews 13:4 |
| 1 Peter | 1 · 1 Peter 3:7 |
The story in order
- God creates marriage (c. 4000 BC) · Genesis 2:24 · Establishes the foundational pattern for marital union.
- Israel warned against foreign marriages (c. 1400 BC) · Deuteronomy 7:3-4 · Prohibits intermarriage to prevent spiritual compromise.
- Solomon's fall due to foreign wives (c. 430 BC) · Nehemiah 13:25-27 · Illustrates the danger of ungodly alliances.
- Ezra confronts intermarriage (c. 450 BC) · Ezra 9:12 · Reinforces the prohibition against marrying idolaters.
- Malachi condemns marrying foreign women (c. 400 BC) · Malachi 2:11 · Judah profaned God's sanctuary through ungodly marriages.
- Jesus on lustful thoughts (c. AD 30) · Matthew 5:28 · Adultery begins in the heart with lustful intent.
- Paul on marriage and singleness (c. AD 55) · 1 Corinthians 7:39 · Freedom to marry, but only 'in the Lord'.
- Paul on spiritual unity in marriage (c. AD 56) · 2 Corinthians 6:14 · Forbids believers being unequally yoked with unbelievers.
- Paul on sexual purity (c. AD 50) · 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 · Calls believers to abstain from sexual immorality.
- Paul on honoring God with bodies (c. AD 55) · 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 · Commands fleeing sexual immorality; bodies belong to God.
- Paul on undivided devotion to Christ (c. AD 55) · 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 · The unmarried can devote undivided attention to the Lord.
- Paul on marriage as Christ and Church (c. AD 60) · Ephesians 5:22-33 · Marriage reflects the covenant love between Christ and His church.
- Peter on living considerately with wives (c. AD 64) · 1 Peter 3:7 · Husbands must live considerately with wives as heirs.
Key words
- In the Lord (en kyrio (ἐν κυρίῳ))
- Marriage to a fellow believer, united in Christ. · 1 Corinthians 7:39
- Sexual Immorality (porneia (πορνεία))
- Any sexual activity outside the bounds of marriage. · 1 Thessalonians 4:3
- Lust (epithymia (ἐπιθυμία))
- Intense desire, especially illicit or unholy desire. · 2 Timothy 2:22
- Companionship (koinonia (κοινωνία))
- Fellowship, association, or intimate relationship. · 2 Corinthians 6:14
- Marriage (gamos (γάμος))
- The sacred union ordained by God between a man and a woman. · Genesis 2:24
- Purity (hagiasmos (ἁγιασμός))
- Freedom from defilement, especially sexual impurity. · 1 Thessalonians 4:4
Approaching romance with biblical clarity guards the soul from heartbreak, compromise, and sin. By seeking a partner who walks faithfully in the Lord, you lay a foundation that glorifies God and reflects the sacrificial love of Christ.
36 passages, each cited once.
Scripture cited
- 2 Corinthians 6:14
- 1 Corinthians 15:33
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-20
- Romans 13:8-14
- Matthew 19:4-6
- Matthew 5:27-30
- 1 Corinthians 7:1-2
- 1 Corinthians 7:36-40
- Hebrews 13:4
- Ephesians 4:25